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Solar Eclipse: A Celestial Portal?

The 2017 Solar Eclipse Elicits Conspiracy Theorists

Sarah Kelley, Editor

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A pair of safety approved solar eclipse glasses.

A huge chunk of rock, known as Earth’s very own moon, passed in front of a very popular and fiery ball of gas this week on Aug. 21, causing mass hysteria across the nation.

True, nearly everybody was instructed not to cast their gaze upon the intensified burning-bright sun, but in actuality, the real concerns had been involving the possible appearance of lizard-men and the destruction of the United States government.

According to an article published in “USA Today,” by Sean Rossman, conspiracy theorists have said that there are certain times of the year where the veil separating realities becomes so thin that portals to other realms open up. These portals facilitate the entrance of creatures such as Lizard-Man and Moss-Man.

As reported in an eerie folkloric legend, the Lizard-Man first appeared in South Carolina, where a scaly, humanoid creature attacked a stranded motorist at night and attached himself to the man’s car as he raced to the Sheriff’s office. In the event of 2017’s solar eclipse, people began to fear Lizard-Man’s return to wreak havoc on Earth.

Senior AJ Leffler has cooked up a conspiracy theory of his own regarding humanoid amphibians and the solar eclipse. The gist of his rather complex theory is that the moon is basically a hoax; it is a satellite that was placed by the “lizard people” centuries ago. This “satellite’s” purpose is to spy on humans.

The “lizard people”, who reside on an extraterrestrial planet (unspecified by Leffler), are essentially using the human race to glean information which helps them create better technology and understand certain human statistics such as population and demographics.

“They usually use huge events, like the solar eclipse, to get into contact with us humans,” Leffler said. “The glasses that people wore to look at the sun were actually devices created by the lizard people to gather information.”

In an article published in the New York Post, it was mentioned that the 2017 solar eclipse had the potential to adversely affect Donald Trump. Astrologically speaking, the eclipse occurred in the sign of Leo, which

Juniors, Leila Isidor and David Ruano look to the sky at the chance to see the solar eclipse.

also happens to be Trump’s rising sign. Trump was born during a lunar eclipse; rising star on Regulus, which apparently indicates that he must follow a strict rule of conduct or face destruction.

Many viewed this as a recipe for disaster for the United States government, considering Trump’s volatile attitude.

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1 Comment

One Response to “Solar Eclipse: A Celestial Portal?”

  1. Jakob on August 25th, 2017 8:48 pm

    love this story sarah! i can’t wait to see what all of you guys write! hopefully i can write some stories as a guest columnist some time, too. 🙂

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The student news site of Coral Shores High School
Solar Eclipse: A Celestial Portal?