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Teens Trade In Lemonade Stands For Slime Businesses

Sarah Kelley, Editor In Chief

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What truly is “slime?” To me, the definition that comes to mind is the chunky, sticky substance that children in grade school bring home from science class and get all over the cat. Merriam Webster defines slime as “a viscous, glutinous, or gelatinous substance.” And when asked why a substance may be considered “slime,” an internet-savvy 13-year-old will say “cuz you can poke it.”

For millions of years, generations after generations of hominids have initiated widespread trends, including but not limited to the popularization of blue jeans, clubs with which to hit woolly mammoths, religion, and Yeezy’s. But what is one of the largest trends of 2018? The phenomenon of “slime.”

I logged into Instagram one day, and, to my dismay, came across an account with 171 thousand followers dedicated entirely to slime. The account’s posts consist of a girl with perfectly manicured nails recording her own hands playing with slime that she had either purchased from online sellers or is selling on her own website.

Astounded by the popularity of the sticky substance, I naively ventured to the comment sections of some of these posts, only to become even more disappointed with today’s society.

Crazed children comment on a slime video on Instagram.

“Omg your slime are so satisfying tell me your secrets master of slime,” said one unnamed Instagram user.

The utter lack of mature sentence structure, grammar, or diction in these comments make me genuinely concerned that the upcoming generations will have no sense of the English language. This obsession with such a mindless activity quite frankly scares me.

It nearly enrages me to think of the extent to which slime culture is growing. True, these videos may be relaxing or satisfying to many, but why must it be so prevalent in adolescent culture? I didn’t ask for this to be shoved in my face. Is it possible to cringe to death? Because that’s how I feel when I see tweens drooling over varied mixtures of borax, glue, and soap instead of studying literature or riding a bike.


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Teens Trade In Lemonade Stands For Slime Businesses